21 coming so soon

sweet wine bottle action

Of all the hints that i am grow(i)n(g) up--i don't enjoy playing tag anymore or like watching cartoons, i have a self-censorship and a self-consciousness that silence my fidgety inquisitiveness--being able to drink is among the more tangible indicators. alchohol was largely (to completely) absent from my life for my 19 pre-college years; my parents never poured themselves a drink on holidays, the coolers at family gatherings were never stocked with beer. . . except for the couple of wine bottles that sat on the built-in wine rack in our kitchen--as if just to prevent the space from being empty--and the couple of beers in the refridgerator in the garage (neither of which i have ever seen my parents drink) alcohol did not make a mark on my childhood other than its mystery as an off-in-the-distance entity. when it did cross my mind, i suppose i thought about alcohol was a thing reserved for adults--adults even more adult than my parents, apparently. in essence, a very far away thing that would never actually experience. that i would never actually grow up.